Wednesday, September 28, 2016

How Long Does It Take A Blind Man To Cross A Street?

Some days you just have to laugh at yourself. Amid a confusion of traffic and roadworks, bus routes and traffic cones. The is a blind man and his dog. Wandering hither and thither. With only a determination to get home and a desire not to be some motorisits hood ornament.

 Devil Thumbing His Nose Hood Ornament

Today was one such day. How Long did it take this Blind Man to cross the road? Two hours, two whole hours of muddle and frustration. The  reason, roadworks and a moved bus stop.

Well first a little background, this morning I had to go to see one of my eye doctors. Getting there is pretty easy, I cross the eight lane highway using a bus, I simply take my bus around the cornerr, down the highway and then off at the first stop over the highway. From there I double back a little and walk a few hundred yards to the doctor's office. I could walk the whole distance in about twenty five minutes, if it weren't for that eight lane highway, it's 50 mile per hour traffic and a myriad of turning lanes in the way.

So I got my bus, to the sttop, crossed the street, booked into my eye doctor's and saw the doctor, having my eyes dilated of course. Why they insist on that I don't know, but my vision of course goes from pretty bad to I can't see a damn thing through these eyeballs.

Well all well and good, make an appointment to see this doctor again in nine months. This is not my retinologist by the way. So after making the appointment, wishing the receptionist a happy Christmas and New Year. I leave.

Well at this point Leif my guide dog and I have a little chat, he wants to take me back the way we came, but I want to go a quietwer route. We are only half way between bus stops and my way means we get a nuice quiet street crossing rather than the route we came with traffic turning in several directions and me unable to see anything.

So Leif, turns his paws in the direction I want and we head up the street. After a few minutes walking, I can smell the unmistakable odour of bitumen. Plus a high pitched bleep bleep, bleep.

Er! Are we going into roadworks? I ask Leif and myself. Leif doesn't say anything at this point. But I get a little nervous. The bus  bustop is across this street and now there are roadworks. How far do the roadworks go? Will the bus still stop there. Has it changed its route for the  day?  I pull out my phone.

I call the bus company. "Will the bus be stopping at Spruce and Millbrook? I ask. " There seems to be lots of construction and congestion.

"Sure." Says a cheerful voice, we have no notice of changes on that route today.

""Er well it seems awful busy around  here." I say.

"The bus is due in seven minutes." The voice answers.

OK I cross nervously, my quiet sidestreet is now a boiling mass of tar layers, cars and trucks pushing through closed lanes, cones and a rather reluctant guide dog watching traffic coming from four directions at once.

So we make it to our bus stop. Good, soon be home I tell Leif, who slumps with a grunt to the ground. We wait, we, wait, we wait. Ten minutes, twenty minutes, thirty minutes.

OK Leif something is up I say. Let's go back to where you wanted to take me first. So we make our way back through the cones, through the smoke and fumes of the tar, through a scramble of cars and trucks.

Part way back Leif decides it is now time to give me something else to do. "You can carry my poop too!" he protests. I dutifully pick out a poop bag, pick up his gift and we make our way back to the stop where the bus had left us a little over an hour earlier.

We find the crossing and apart from on motorist trying to cut around us as they rushed a red light we crossed safely.

I decided to call the bus company again. I repeated my question about if there was any change in my bus route, to be told there was no change. But of course now  I was wary of such cheerfulness.

In a few moments our bus arrived. I got on showing my ticket, and in passing I asked the driver if there is a change in the route up ahead. "Oh yes." He said, " "There are roadworks so we are not going through Millbrook"

OK Good to know I thought,  pity no-one tells your folk back at the office.

So a journey, which should have taken me forty minutes at most, took over two hours.

My apologies for all typos in this post. My eyes are still pretty dilated and it's hard to type.

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