Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Sleepless In California

Is it the stress of planning a class paper? Is it the stress of starting a book club? Id it jusst blindness induced insomnia?

It is hard to tell what is causing the lack of an ability to sleep these days. I can generally sleep for two or three hours. Early darkness means that my most sleepy periods tend to be around seven in the evening. Then by midnight I am wide awake again.

This has been the fifteenth night in sucession that I have spent sat up. Now at 6am Pacific time there is no point even trying to hope of some sleep today.

There could be some stress involved in this. I have an eight to ten page paper due at the weekend. I have done most of the research for it and know what I want to write. Normally I have never in the past lost any sleep over a mere paper. Maybe now at the Master's level I just feel there is more at stake? Who knows? It's all subconcious.

Thursday will see me leading a new book club. That has been in preparation since November with some work entailed but mainly it was order books the wait for people to collect them. I am always nervous about being in the public eye, especially now I have gone blind. Interacting socially can be anxiety ridden. But the book is a fun book, Major Pettigrew's Last Stand by  Helen Simonson if any of you would like to read it, it is very entertaining.

My final idea is that it is all this combined with that damn blindness induced insomnia. The reduced light cues gained through my eyes combined with dark early evenings mean my body clock is now growing further out of sync with normal day to day rhythms. My body is basically reating rather like a worker on a pattern of shift work, except where they have days where they can readjust to different work shifts, I cannot. So my body is tiring at all the most innappropriate times like now.