Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Inspiration or Just Stubborn Selfishness

One of the things which has struck me since I have become blind is how people now say I am an inspiration.

They praise my achievement of gaining a BA degree with a 4.0 GPA. They praise that I go out and talk about my blindness. They acclaim my attempts to design clothing (tee-shirts) online as wonderful.

To me, non of these things are inspirational.

I was able to maintain a 4.0 GPA before I went blind, I was damned if I was going to let my standards slip, just because I could no longer see properly. To me maintaining that 4.0 became a matter of pride in myself, not at all inspirational.

People have praised my talking about my blindness, both in meetings and online, here and at HubPages. But it is vanity that makes me talk. The vanity that my words will be read by someone else.

The opening of online businesses, designing on cafepress.com and zazzle.com is merely my attempt to remain productive. I used to love painting miniature model soldiers. It was doing such crafts that raised my interest in history. I used to use the models in wargames. But the creation of grand armies was a creative act in itself. The colors of uniforms and seeing the transformation from silver lead to brightly painted miniature warrior was something I enjoyed.

Today I use my computer software to draw pictures that go into designs. Someone may buy them, but people still look at them and say. "Wow and you're blind?"

So inspirational and virtuous or selfish and stubborn and full of vice?

You call it!

Polly the GSD One of my Simple Cartoons.

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